A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

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knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Today I'll wear a hat on my head Instead of a shoe.

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

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*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

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i wonder who made this website? a human

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one does, too.

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Whats worse than having a parking cone rammed up your ass? Realizing that a big orange cone is up your ass.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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Good job, son.

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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