How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

a guy fell off a roof of a mansion he died his family cried F.Y.I i have Alzheimers toilet monster

How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

why did bob marley die because he did also he smoked weed he was naughty!

What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

A jew walked into a bar Hitler said.... A jew walked out of a concentration camp

Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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