Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

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im passing this on from a friend: 2 blondes walk into a building, you think one woulda saw it,

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

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a irish man walks past a bar

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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Q: GUESS WHAT IS REALLY BAD????? A: TITTY CANCER! :0

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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How does a black man have sex? He inserts his penis into his partners vagina, then slides it out, then inserts it back in, and repeats this motion untill he has reached his climax and ejaculates!

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y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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no.

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Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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What do you call a Mexican hot dog? Lunch.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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