A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

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When the mom came home from work, she was very tired. Her son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She says sure and makes one for him. The boy was very happy and ate his sandwich. I was actually lying above. The mom was actually killed by three men in hoodies that were hiding in her backyard. The came inside and also murdered the boy. Worst of all the killers took all of the food and the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat, Guess it doesn't matter since he is gone...

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How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? neither has he.

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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What's even funnier than 24? A clown in a tree.

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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What did the Japanese kid get for his birthday? Nothing, his gifts were washed away.

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What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

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What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

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What is life? Paul.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops