A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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why do some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because they can be extreamly delishus and satisfying to eat. Why dont some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because then we would all be too big to fit on earth.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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