A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

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What do you call a man in front of three trains that have explosives tied to them and that are making amazingly loud noises? An idiot who obviously can't identify danger and probably had a childhood injury that cause his life to be ruined forever most likely cause by an evil uncle.

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

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A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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What happens to the blond when she reaches the top of the stairs She falls down them

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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Roses are Blue Violets are red, I need to go the the bathroom

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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What did the man with no head get for Christmas? Nothing he was dead

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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