Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

Did you hear the joke about the deaf mail man? No. Neither did he.

yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

school homewrok

Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

Lol Nerochan, that was like totally awesome!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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