Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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Tom and Ralph are In a verbal scuffle. Tom: your adopted ralf! Ralph: yes! Now I have lesser chance of high blood pressure!

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what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

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What's worse than World War II? World War III.

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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Why did the bones cross the street? They didn't. The dogs ate them.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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