roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

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Why did the spy cross the road? To get to the other hide.

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. why? Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. See how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

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Aodhans da is Mr.Bradly and he dosnt know what coordinates are, 180 anti-clockwise,he has "the key to examination success is revision and homestudy tattooed on his chest, his das herbert the pervert, his mas a taxcollector and on the dole, his da sits on the roof eating biscuits, cleaning the satilite dish, he gets his pubes shaved in gordans chemist, he uses mcdonaldsd wifi, hes a fruit fly and he can stop global warming by shaking his head!!!!!!!!

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YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

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what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

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Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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what would be the most epic fight ever chuck norris vs superman vs all legendary pokemon vs a giant who would win it me (im superman)

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rent a cops

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(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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