There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Umm... Why would it not?

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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What did the guy say to the girl when she was on her knees? Stop playing with it put it in your mouth

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Non-Anti-Joke.com!

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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What's worse then getting a broken bone? A large marsupial charging at you with vicious speed

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2 Priests and a Monk walk into a bar, All 3 were stabbed to death in a bar fight.

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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