what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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What did the jobless man get for Christmas? Fired...

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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Theres this black guy who goes to a gun shop and buys a .45 and then goes to get a permit and uses it responsibly....

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Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

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what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

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What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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what do you use to blindfold chinese person? dental floss!!

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

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what kind of person would you call dumb the ones who read anti jokes

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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