What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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What do you call a black guy that drives an airplane? A pilot.

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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why does the man appear fat he is

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops