How many babies does it take to paint a house? That is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

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Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Turns out he was needed immediately at a business meeting.

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what did the guy think who woke up with his hands and feet nailed to a barn. IS THIS BECAUSE IM BLACK!

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

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what do u say to a man walking down the street nothing, u shouldnt talk to strangers

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What did the black do when a man robbed his house? He called 911

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So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? - AIDS. What's worse than AIDS? - Getting AIDS and stubbing your toe.

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What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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What did the man say to the cat. ~It doesn't matter it impossible for 2 Species to Communicate between one another.

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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