What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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whats worse than the black death. Bieber Fever

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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Three guys went hunting on a rainy day. The first guy slipped.

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two men walk into a bar. they get a concussion.

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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Granny porn!

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Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops