Read a Book.

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Baby you're so hot I have an erection the size of an average penis.

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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My brother found a worm in his apple. I dared him to eat it, so he did. When he tried to swallow, the mashed up worm congealed in his throat, killing him. Later, I found out that the worm had poisonous rectum fluids. I was given the Nobel Peace prize.

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If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

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What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

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Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

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Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He Died Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He was stapled the the first koala

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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swag

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Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am epileptic. SLAWWAWASWAKHINGAGAGAGAKIHARGAVBAZSAWAWAWAWAAAAA

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Three baby seals walk into a club...

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Penis.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Why the hell is she out of the kitchen!

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10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And I hate Jewish people

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What do you call a Rhino and a Lion having sex? Pointless, since they can't reproduce

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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