Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

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A man walked into a bar. Too bad he didn't see it.The man was sent to the hospital 2 hours later when a friendly elderly lady found him badly wounded on the ground.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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whats green and lives in the water

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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Whats circular and black? a black circle.

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Knock knock. Who's there? There's no need to ask this question due to the fact that most homes are built with peepholes nowadays.

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Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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