"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

Your so gay, that you like men!

Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

Why did Captain Obvious crossed the road? Because that's the name of the chicken

Q: Why did the man get stabbed? A: I don't know.

Why was the Tortous and the Hare written? So fat people will feel good about themselves.

A horse walks into a bar. The waiter asks: 'Why the long face?' The horse, not understanding English, takes a crap on the floor and walks out.

How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

Why did the baby cry? Because he fell off a refrigerator.

How did the marines cross the minefield safely at night? Under a full moon

-Doctor! Scientists in California have enough proofs to demonstrate that the Christian religion is false. -Oh my God!

What is small, naked and covered in sperm My son

What do you call a man with a knife in his back? An ambulance

What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor