What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding poo in your shoe.

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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