why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

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Why are there cookie's in the jar? 'Cause I put cookies in the jar

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What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

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A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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Everybody love food when they are hungry

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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