There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

A black man walks into a KFC. He buys a bucket of chicken, then distributes it to several homeless men he supports off of his meager income because he knows their situations are much worse than his.

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you ***ing racist.

A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

Why did the black guy buy a bucket of KFC? Because he was hungry

Baby you're so hot I have an erection the size of an average penis.

Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

What did Justin beiber get for Christmas? A dildo.

What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

Why does a squirrel have the tail at the back? Because at the front it's the squirrel.

Why are black people like jelly beans? Nobody likes the black ones

What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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