Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

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A guy punched himself. He then said ouch.

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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what did one mute say to the other? Nothing.

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What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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women drivers>asian drivers>asian women drivers

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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Person 1: I got a really good knock, knock joke. Person 2: Okay. Person 1: You start. Person 2: Knock, knock. Person 1: Who's there? Person 2: ...

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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