Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops