How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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What's one plus one? two.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

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Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you go into the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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hohifooncuiohicvsdhn ioshd

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

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Whats the same about a jew and firewood? They both burn.

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so there was a frog a bear and a walrus... i forgot how the rest goes but they all die because of a nuclear holocaust

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*insert corny "a man walks into a bar" joke here*

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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Why don't vampires like garlic? Every vampires was raped by a garlic salesman.

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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Q: Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, and a rich mexican jump out of the plane at the same time. Who hit the ground first? A: The answer is none of the above, because they don't exist.

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Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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