What's worse than fingering your sister and finding your father's wedding ring ? 3 bee stings.

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Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

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Why did a boy get slapped in the hand? A; because he had it in the persons face

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How do you make a clown cry? Hit him with a chair then rape his children

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What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

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David Cameron

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

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What's worst then finding a worm in your apple Eating it.

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It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

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What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

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Knock Knock. In about 10 seconds you'll be trespassing on my property, I suggest you leave immediately. Your suppose to say who's there.

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Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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