Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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your life

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why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

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EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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What Do you call a black priest? Holy shit!

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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What do you call a bird with a broken wing? A bird with a broken wing.

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My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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whatdumb and gay stewart price

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Why did my bed broke? Becaus i had sex with your mom!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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