What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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I got on a bus, and immediately found that sitting on a bus is boring. I will never climb on top of a bus again.

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Four men are stranded on a small desert island. The first of them decides to build a raft out of bamboo, but it only has room for one passenger. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouted to the men on shore as he left, but a band of pirates killed him in the middle of the ocean. The second castaway was more clever, and built a submarine out of bamboo and sealed it with hides of animals they had killed. He counteracts the buoyant force with sand. In this way, he planned to avoid the pirates by being underwater. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he exclaimed as he sealed the one person sized chamber of his submarine, but not far off shore, he runs out of oxygen and suffocates to death. The third castaway learned from the mistakes of the first two, and in spite of the unpredictability of handcrafted aerial vehicles, he makes a glider. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouts from the hill top of the island as he leaps off and glides over the horizon. Though the journey is fraught with peril, he makes it back to civilization and is reunited with his family. It is expensive, but he prepares an expedition back to the island where his fourth comrade remains. It is worthy to note that on this small island, all the means of making shelter had been used up in the construction of the raft, submarine, and glider. The fourth castaway was found dead from exposure to the elements.

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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knock knock whos there make up make up who hahahaha you said make a poo

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What is better than tissues? Correct!

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Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pickles.

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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some magicians can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim in water, faster than the average man.

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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What do a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common? They are both hardworking members of the community!

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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What do you call a human with no eye? A Human.

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

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What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

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What did the Muslim say to the American? Hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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