So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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What did billy get after sex? Herpes

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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When is a door not a door? Never.

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one day a guy walks into a bar. he buy's a drink then walks hapily home by Mad James

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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Q: what do u call a hotdog that's not cooked? A:a raw hot dog

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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Why did god create anti-jokes? He didn't.

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scottishman walks into a bar. They had a good time.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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Q:why did i cross the road A: time to get a watch

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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How did the black man fall of the cliff? He was gazing over and realized he had Prostate cancer and fell off the cliif.

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whats 1 + 1? 2

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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