What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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knock knock who's there? your mom your mom who? I'm sorry to tell your mom is dead :.(

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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A man walked into a blind child's house and made him see again. He stepped outside, walked into traffic, and died as he was not used to the light.

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CHUCK NORRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!$$$$bOoBiEs

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Why did the squirrel cross the... *Squash*

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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