What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

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Ahmed walks into Abbar. He apologized and they both continued about their jobs as sales assistants at Pottery Barn.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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Did you hear about the comedian cereal killer?...He raped his victims before strangling them to death.

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

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A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

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why was the blond so easy,because ALL blonds are whores.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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Knock Knock Who's there It's me open the door

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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