Do you want to hear a joke? Well you can't because you are reading this

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

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If bananas are purple, then what color are oranges? I am not going to tell you the answer because this joke has no significance whatsoever.

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What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

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Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

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What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

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deez nuts

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

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What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

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Why does Hilter hate Jews? He's incapable of hating because he's dead.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? TO GET TO THE SAME SIDE!!!BAZZINGA!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops