A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

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A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

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Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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what is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babes. when i saw the Porsche i told the guy nice car and he was like yea whatever then i went and killed 50 babes and lost conciseness when i woke up i saw the Porsche again and thought what a nice car and when i saw the babes i thought what kind of monster killed all those babes

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

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A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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Some of these jokes are funny, others are sad.

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Sex education in Texas,

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knock knock who's there? pizza man ok

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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