Hey, did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off? Yeah, it was pretty brutal. His right arm and right leg got cut off, too.

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What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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One day a man was really horny and wanted to bang his wife that night, so he took soom horns and banged them against her skull until his wife bled to death. He was later sentenced for homocide and to this day has been in prison

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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A generous manager, an honest lawyer, a responsible politician and a dodo bird fall off a cliff. Who survives?. None, they are all long since extinct.

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so a black guy, an asian, and a scott are sitting at a bar, they drink responsibly, pay their tab, and leave. The evening couldn't have been more pleasant.

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Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

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When life gives you AIDS! Make lemonAIDS!

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What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

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Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

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Knock knock knock OCD

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops