Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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so a black guy, an asian, and a scott are sitting at a bar, they drink responsibly, pay their tab, and leave. The evening couldn't have been more pleasant.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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Naturally I meant to say "Its no fun even when they DO scream in pain" below... What do you think I got? Pleasure? Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: Of course I got pleasure! ;) But I wont share with you!

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What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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knock knock. whos there? the IRS you have recently filed for bankruptcy and we are repossessing your house.

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knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

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Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

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Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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Q: What say one therapist to a friend? A: I'm the rapist

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

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What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

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No

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Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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