Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

thumb_up thumb_down +13

sky silverstein

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? -I do not believe chickens like being questioned of their motives. We should leave them alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops