what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

If you are riding on a boat and all the wheels fall off, how many pancakes would it take to make a dog house? It does not matter because fish don't like tomatoes.

What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

Why doesn't God like fruitcake? Because God doesn't exist.

What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

So a bar walks into a man...

What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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