What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Its very nice.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

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why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

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Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

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Why are Asians good at Math? Because they are bad at English.

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It was the week of the school formal and a girl rang up her date and said I don't have a dress for the formal. He said ok the lets go out and buy one. So they went to the dress shop to buy one but the line was really, really long so they waited in the dress line for ages and ages until they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. As they did, the girl said well I suppose you need a suit, so they went to the suit shop, and again, the suit line was really long but they waited in the suit line and they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. Then the guy said, well if we want to go to the formal in style, then we will need a limo. So they went to the limo shop but the limo line was really long as well. But again, they waited in the limo line and they got to the front, paid and left. It was finally the night of the formal, she had her dress, he had his suit and they arrived in their limo. Everyone was having a great time and the the girl said to her partner, I'm a bit thirsty could you please get me a drink? So the guy went over to the drinks table and went to get a glass of punch but there was no punch line.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

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Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

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The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

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Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

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who is really lanky? james cornish

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Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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