Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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Why does everyone tell black jokes? Because everyone hates black people.

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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What did the Brontosaurus say to the Triceratops? Nothing. Neither of them have ever existed.

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Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

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A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Cause KFC was chasing him.

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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"Is this the Krusty Krab ?" I'M TIRED OF YOUR SHIT TYRONE.

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Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops