Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

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What is better than tissues? Correct!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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A Christian and an atheist are in a bar. Neither one knows the other's religion and they continue to drink.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

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What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

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what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

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What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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Lets just say, that I can tell anyone that my brother is one of the top leaders for Interpol (here in the nation we reside in) and that while I do not have the required education to work for interpol, I have connections with them, which allows me to work, well... Yeah, Central.

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A man walks into a clothing store, he calls his wife, buys a shirt, and leaves.

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops