'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

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Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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Why is six afraid of seven? SE7EN!

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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