What's just not right? Left

Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

blargen fa-diddle nachen!

Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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