A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

Rarity: "So, what is that splendid frock of yours saying?" Maud Pie: "It doesn't talk. It's a dress."

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

What did one volcano say to the other? Nothing. Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

Jacob Edwards has friends.

how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

A man walks into a bar falls into the street and gets run over. It was very tragic

I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

An Englishman, an Irishman, a Frenchman, a Scottish man, an Australian, a German, a Spaniard, an Icelandic man, a Norwegian, a Swede, a Dane, an Italian, a Morrocan, an American, an Algerian, an Egyptian, a Syrian, an Israelite, a Chinese man, a Russian, a Japanese man, an Indian and a Brazilian all walk into a bar. It was a large bar.

Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

My mom

Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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