To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By pulling human entrails out of her purse when he asks her to provide insurance.

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

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A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

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What's the difference between a black person and a park bench? Benches are inanimate objects while people are indeed carbon-based life forms.

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Small Penis.

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What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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Why did the Iraqi airline crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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Whats the difference between a black guy at the beach, and a black guy at the zoo? One is at the beach, and one is at the zoo.

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What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

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What do you call a black man wearing tights? Rick

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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i threw my line in the toilet the fishing was pretty shity that day

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What do you call flashlight in an Asian kids room what ever the brand is

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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