A man drives home from a bar one night, He is under the influence and his reckless driving will costs many innocent people their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happened to the baby in the microwave. I don't know I was too busy masturbating off to it in my clown suit

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is smarter than a blind Mexican midget of average intelligence? A genius

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Teachers be like "Hold on class, I am almost done with my lesson!" Students: " Aint nobody got time 4 dat!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two homosexuals walk into a bedroom, and begin to have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I got on a bus, and immediately found that sitting on a bus is boring. I will never climb on top of a bus again.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Four men are stranded on a small desert island. The first of them decides to build a raft out of bamboo, but it only has room for one passenger. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouted to the men on shore as he left, but a band of pirates killed him in the middle of the ocean. The second castaway was more clever, and built a submarine out of bamboo and sealed it with hides of animals they had killed. He counteracts the buoyant force with sand. In this way, he planned to avoid the pirates by being underwater. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he exclaimed as he sealed the one person sized chamber of his submarine, but not far off shore, he runs out of oxygen and suffocates to death. The third castaway learned from the mistakes of the first two, and in spite of the unpredictability of handcrafted aerial vehicles, he makes a glider. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouts from the hill top of the island as he leaps off and glides over the horizon. Though the journey is fraught with peril, he makes it back to civilization and is reunited with his family. It is expensive, but he prepares an expedition back to the island where his fourth comrade remains. It is worthy to note that on this small island, all the means of making shelter had been used up in the construction of the raft, submarine, and glider. The fourth castaway was found dead from exposure to the elements.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road??? Suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Did you hear the one about the Mexican that went to college? All his life, Juan wanted to get a decent education, but was unable to due to his family's low income. So Juan worked hard all his life, and got a part-time job. He made a little cash here, a little there. He also studied vigorously, getting a 33 on his ACT. All that work eventually paid off, and Juan was eventually accepted at Princeton University. Juan is now a highly paid Neurological surgeon, and has saved countless lives

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's 2+2? Fish

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Nothing, chimneys can't talk!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common? They are both hardworking members of the community!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

thumb_up thumb_down -13

some magicians can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim in water, faster than the average man.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops