What is worse than torture? Not much.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A bartender walks up to a church and a synagogue

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

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What blew the baby's mind? Daddy's knuckles.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Why did the boy fall off the sky scraper. It was hit by an axe.

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Ask me if I'm a toaster Are you a toaster? No, I'm a tree.

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Why didn't the boy eat his soup? It was to hot.

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why is there art classes so people can make beautiful pieces of art :)

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What is is one good thing about global Waming? Nothing.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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what did the rabbi say to the priest? jesus christ, your breath stinks.

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Q: Whats black and white and red all over? A: I am unsure for I am color blind.

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed.

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What did the frog order at McDonalds? Nothing, it's a frog.

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"I'm terrible at writing jokes." -80% of the people on here.

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Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

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A black guy goes to the bar. The Barman say: What would you like to drink?

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops