¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

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What did the retarded kid get for chrismas? Nothing the orphanage could not afford to give presents to all of the retarded children

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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What happened when the man went to the bar? He got drunk, drove home injuring a young teen mother, brutally assaulted his wife to the point of death. He's in prison serving 3 life sentences.

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

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Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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WARNING: this is a black joke Why does everybody hate darth vader? he is all black

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

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What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops