Do you play piano? No

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I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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What's just not right? Left

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops