Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

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What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

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Why did they bury the indian at the top of the hill? Because he was dead.

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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Why did the White man scream when he saw a Black man? Because he was scared.

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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Man- Where can I find a book on the holocaust Book keeper- Have you tried comedy? Man- no I havent Book keeper- good it won't be there

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

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How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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How do you kill and red head? Throw your mom at them!

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops