knock knock. whos there? the IRS you have recently filed for bankruptcy and we are repossessing your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

thumb_up thumb_down -15

roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Truth is Jordan Abu aita has a hairy @ss

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the blonde fall down a mineshaft? Beacuse the rapist needed somewhere to hide the body

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

thumb_up thumb_down -15

mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops