What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? You can't find a ferrari in my garage.

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A hill billy went fishing

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jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

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Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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Whats worse than having a parking cone rammed up your ass? Realizing that a big orange cone is up your ass.

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Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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Why is the chicken afraid of the tiger? Chickens are inferrior to tigers and could easily be eaten.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops