If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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George Zimmerman walks into a bar .

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Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

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Roses are red Roses are also white and Violets are Violet not blue. Also I'm a realist and your grandmother is going to die soon

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A bear comes across some people on a camping trip. But he then promptly leaves, because bears aren't inherently aggressive unless caring for their young or if they are provoked.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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What did Harold homeless man get for his Birthday? after several years of a meth abuse Harold lost contact with his family. As a result Harold received nothing but an extra bowl of soup at his local soup kitchen.

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a ginger in an oven? A ginger in an oven

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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What did the world's greatest bowler say when he got a gutterball? "Spare me the irony!" Get it? It's because he's made of metal.

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why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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roses are red , thankyou for stating that , i can now continue with gardening as it is my profession.

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why did the boy loose his job.... because he was only 14,dont know how he got it in the first place Chuckles

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You the same as before? I am being a bit overly cautious I admit that, I would call you, the problem is that while you are either pretty good at pretending to be innocent and all, or actually pretty down to earth, I mean I would probably applaud you for tricking me into believing you are pretty sweet before, but I got my wife and her family to take care off now, its not quite the same getting stabbed in the back anymore,

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

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what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

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A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

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How many blondes does it take to play a game of hide and seek? One ... ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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