What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours Stolen propety....

What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

There's my tractor.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

What did the 11 year old boy get for christmas? A wet dream

There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

What does the fox say? Nothing a fox is incapable of speech.

What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

A blond walked into a bar. A guy picker her up and then they had sex.

how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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