Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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Dislike if you are a prostitute

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what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? - Nothing This homeless man got a gift for his Birthday. What happened to the gift? - It got stolen the following day What did this homeless man get for New Year? - Still nothing Get real.

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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Why did Gavin kill Harley. Because his voices told him to.

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whats worse than 2 jews 3 jews

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? a horse

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

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What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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