What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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I like my coffee like my women, without a penis

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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Q. How many grains of rice can you fit in an egg? A. Fire extinguisher.

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So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

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why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

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why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

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Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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