What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

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A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

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A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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What is green and is not grass A frogg

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

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what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops