Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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A Black Child just received his ivy-league diploma and hugged his dad.

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What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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What would a man say if you urinated all over his legs? WHAT THE DEUCE?

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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roes are red violets are blue we have nothing in common so baby were through

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What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

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Q:What is the difference between a Blonde and a Ginger? A: Hair Color

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This is a bad anti-joke. Just kidding, it's a good one.

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What gets you a succesful life and career? Swag

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

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A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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Why doesn't a duck's quack echo? Evolution.

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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Why shouldn't 6 guys sleep naked in the same bed? They would not fit

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What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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