My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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why did the girl fall of her bike She had no arms

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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Why do dead Republicans float? Their corpse's mass-to-volume ratio is less than the water they displace. It is very sad.

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Ok everyone, you know that kid that after his joke he'll put louis on the bottom because that's his name? He sucks at joke telling and if you see any of his jokes, DISLIKE THEM!

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

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You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a loaf of bread.

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when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Are you made out of silicon, because you are silly and your name is Con.

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roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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Q. What is a similarly between Jewa and Pizza. A. There both baked in a over

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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