Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

thumb_up thumb_down -21

An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many blondes does it take to replace a light bulb? Well, it depends if the person is blond or not. Also the person's age, as kids may not understand this proses at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why do fat people commit suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 6 was registered as a sex offender

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

thumb_up thumb_down -21

There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

thumb_up thumb_down -21

if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -21

a priest and a rabbi are walking down a road together the rabbi says: so your a priest how about that the priest says: fine ive read the bible a few times good book

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -21

my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Bill is driving along the Interstate.All the sudden, a refrigerator falls off the truck in front of him.The fridge slams into Bill's car.He dies instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops